The 5 Surprising Things I Love About My 40s

Is 40 actually the brand new 20? 

Okay perhaps not, however as I get able to rejoice my forty sixth birthday this week, I contend that there IS undoubtedly an entire lot of life left after 40. 

In truth, I believe I’d even go as far as to say that is my favourite decade to date! 

And so in celebration of my birthday and hopefully getting older gracefully, I believed at this time I’d share just a few of my favourite issues about life in my 40s—the issues that truthfully have shocked me.

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 And whether or not you’re in your 40’s, 50’s, or past, I’ll be curious to know whether or not you agree.

So, with out additional ado–listed here are the 5 shocking issues I LOVE about being in my 40s.

I not care what different individuals consider me.

The primary large factor is that I’ve just about stopped giving a—nicely, we’ll say—crap about what anybody else thinks of me.

And that’s really a reasonably large deal.

And it’s not that I’ve ever thought-about myself a complete individuals pleaser, however I believe all of us have slightly bit—or perhaps so much—of insecurity with regards to being round individuals and particularly being round different ladies. 

I’ve all the time been fairly pushed and fairly outspoken and likewise sharp and witty and sarcastic. I’m additionally only a pure chief.

However once I would get round different ladies that perhaps weren’t fairly as pushed or outspoken, I’d attempt to tone it down. Principally I’d attempt to mood my persona to suit the social state of affairs, I believe as a result of I used to be usually afraid to be absolutely ME.

I fearful about becoming in and never offending individuals.

And truthfully I believe that worry or that fear even translated to how I confirmed up in my enterprise. For a very long time, truthfully for years, I felt like I needed to maintain part of me again. I used to be afraid to talk my thoughts or get too controversial or to say something which may offend somebody.

In truth, I believe for a very long time that was why I struggled a lot with social media. I by no means knew what to say as a result of I didn’t actually really feel like I might absolutely be myself. What if I used to be an excessive amount of?

And I don’t actually really feel like I do this anymore.

As I’ve gotten older, I believe truthfully I’ve stopped caring a lot about different individuals’s opinions and what they consider me. I’m a lot extra prepared now than I ever have been to only let the chips fall the place they might.

I’m not for everybody, and that’s okay.

And let me inform you…it feels SO GOOD. I do know who I’m and what I like and don’t like, and I don’t really feel like I’ve bought to show myself or change myself to slot in or be accepted. 

In order that’s the primary large factor that’s actually shocked me about getting older—I’ve lastly stopped caring a lot about what different individuals suppose.

I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin.

The second large factor that has shocked me about getting older is that I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin than I’ve ever been earlier than.

And it’s kind-of odd once I give it some thought, as a result of once I look again at images of myself at 20 or 25, I used to be so cute and tan and skinny and but SO insecure about myself and my physique.

And sure, dropping 40 kilos undoubtedly helped me really feel much more assured, however my 45 yr previous physique nonetheless seems like a forty five yr previous physique.

I’ve bought varicose veins and cellulite and stretch marks. Daily I discover just a few extra grey hairs. I’ve wrinkles and age spots and giggle strains and boobs which can be beginning to sag just a bit.

However these issues truthfully don’t trouble me.

I like my physique proper now, simply the way in which it’s, and after battling my weight for thus lengthy, it kinda feels superb to be at this level.

I dance round bare for my husband, which I NEVER would have performed earlier than, and inform him day-after-day how fortunate he’s to have such a scorching spouse.

And once more, objectively I don’t suppose it’s as a result of I’m really hotter now than after we first met, however my CONFIDENCE is what has made me extra enticing.

I believe perhaps it’s as a result of as you grow old, you acquire knowledge and perspective, and also you begin to understand that your flaws and scars are simply a part of who you might be.

They’re a part of your story they usually’re what makes you distinctive and fascinating.

However that’s the second large factor that has shocked me—how far more assured I’m in my very own pores and skin.

My youngsters are a lot extra self-sufficient

The third factor that has shocked me is how a lot I like this subsequent part of parenting, the place my youngsters are older and extra unbiased and self-sufficient.

And whereas youngsters—particularly teenage GIRLS—undoubtedly have their moments, this stage of parenting has really been much more enjoyable than I believed it might be.

I all the time thought it might make me unhappy to look at my youngsters develop up, however truthfully it doesn’t make me unhappy. It’s been so enjoyable to look at my women develop into changing into their very own individuals. 

They’re nonetheless at residence for just a few extra years, however now they’re driving themselves locations and taking duty for their very own homework and don’t require a babysitter after we need to exit—and even when my husband and I need to go away for the weekend.

And that’s really an enormous deal as a result of residing right here in Florida, we by no means actually had any household round whereas we had been elevating our children, and good babysitters are arduous to seek out. 

I keep in mind so a few years after they had been youthful the place we felt overwhelmed by the neediness. And now I’ve workers who’ve younger youngsters and it makes me keep in mind simply how exhausting that part of life is, and I don’t actually miss it.

And don’t get me incorrect, I really LOVE youngsters and I’m SO excited for grandkids in just a few years, as a result of I’m going to be SUCH a kick-ass grandma, however I’m additionally not unhappy that in only a couple extra years my husband and I shall be empty nesters and we get to look at our children go navigate the world on their very own.

In order that’s the third factor that has shocked me—how a lot I like having self-sufficient youngsters.

I’ve far more enjoyable.

The fourth factor that has DEFINITELY shocked me is that I’m having WAY extra enjoyable in my 40s than I ever did in my 20’s or 30s.

And perhaps this is because of the truth that my youngsters are far more unbiased, or perhaps it’s as a result of I’m extra assured and comfy in my very own pores and skin, however I additionally suppose it’s as a result of in my 20’s and 30’s I used to be extra targeted on getting married and beginning a household after which rising my enterprise.

However I’ve by no means had extra enjoyable than I’m having now, at this part in my life.

I believe a part of it’s that I simply don’t take myself as severely as I used to. Once more, perhaps that’s the rise in confidence or simply being much more prepared to be myself and never feeling like I must impress anybody.

However I believe a giant a part of it is also that over the previous few years, my husband and I’ve gotten much more intentional about making a shared imaginative and prescient for our life collectively, and for what we would like our life to appear like.

And that undoubtedly wasn’t all the time the case. We weren’t all the time completely on the identical web page. I used to be tremendous busy attempting to develop my enterprise and do all of the issues and be all of the locations. I had my very own objectives, however they weren’t actually shared objectives. And that typically put us at odds.

If I’m being trustworthy, typically it felt like we had been residing totally different lives.

However throughout COVID lots of that modified.

I instantly stopped touring and I used to be residence on a regular basis, and we began doing much more issues collectively. We reconnected as a pair and we additionally began making extra native mates in our personal neighborhood. We additionally discovered a brand new church and commenced rising spiritually collectively as nicely.

And we began having extra conversations about we really wished for our life collectively.

And perhaps it has nothing to do with covid, perhaps it’s only a pure factor that occurs as your youngsters grow old and get nearer to depart the nest, and you need to come to grips with the truth that in some unspecified time in the future it’s going to be simply the 2 of you, and also you’ve both bought to be in it for the lengthy haul otherwise you’ve bought to go your separate methods.

For us, it was determining the best way to create a shared imaginative and prescient for our life.

So we really wrote all of it out—what we would like our life to appear like. We realized that we would like a house the place individuals can collect—a spot the place everybody feels welcome.

And we additionally realized that this imaginative and prescient didn’t must be one thing we waited for. We might begin inviting individuals to assemble instantly.

And so we do. On a regular basis. Even when our life is loopy attempting to maintain up with our children’ sports activities schedules and work and all the home tasks we’ve happening.

We don’t fear if our home is tidy, or if every thing seems good. We don’t fear if every thing is all pulled collectively and exquisite. Typically it’s not. In truth normally it’s not.

Don’t get me incorrect, I like planning a very good social gathering, however I don’t WAIT till every thing is ideal to ask individuals in. Actually lately we’re normally a complete shitshow and our home is a catastrophe.

However there’s hardly ever a weekend the place we don’t invite individuals over, or the place we’re not gathering with mates, even when it’s simply to have a bonfire within the again subject or play pool in our yet-to-be-renovated sport room.

As a result of what I’ve realized at this stage of life is that nobody cares how good it’s.

Once I was youthful I’d get so caught up within the particulars that I’d neglect that the entire level of gathering is to CONNECT.

And in order that’s what we do. And it’s lots of enjoyable.

In order that’s the fourth shock.

I’m far more conscious of my very own mortality.

The fifth shock is simply how far more conscious I’m of my very own mortality.

And perhaps this doesn’t sound like a very good factor, however I really suppose it’s. So hear me out. 

It’s not like I’m consistently fearful about dying or something, it’s extra that I’ve a palpable consciousness of the fragility of life and the preciousness of time.

I believe once you’re youthful, you suppose you have got on a regular basis on this planet. You place issues off since you assume there’ll all the time be a tomorrow or subsequent week or subsequent month.

However as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen that tomorrow isn’t assured. And so in a basic sense, I believe it’s made me extra intentional about how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and what I’m doing with my life.

I don’t suppose I take practically as a lot with no consideration anymore—whether or not it’s my well being, my household, my mates, or simply the little moments all through the day—as a result of I do know that it might all be gone in a heartbeat. 

I don’t need to have any regrets. I need to reside absolutely and profit from day-after-day that I’ve.

So I’m extra prepared to take dangers, to strive new issues, and to not let worry maintain me again.

As a result of on the finish of the day, what’s the worst that may occur? All of us die finally in any case. Would possibly as nicely profit from the time we’ve.

And that’s been a shocking and liberating mindset to have. It has helped me let go of perfectionism and comparability, and simply deal with residing my life in a significant means.

So whereas there could also be extra wrinkles and grey hairs than I’d like, getting older has additionally introduced some surprising joys and classes. And I’m excited to see what else this subsequent part of life has in retailer. It doesn’t matter what, I’m certain it is going to be one wild and loopy experience. 

In order that’s my listing—the 5 shocking issues I like about being in my 40s! 

And I’m certain you possibly can relate to some, if not all of them, however truthfully I’d love to listen to again from you on this! Do you like this midlife part of life too, whether or not it’s your 40’s, 50’s or past? 

If that’s the case WHY? 

Go away a remark under and let me know what you suppose!